I have to find equilibrium between my desire to love, and my desire to be free of situations that won’t sustain me. There have been times I put myself in situations where I chose to ignore things that would ultimately cause me pain & disappointment. I can’t be in that place anymore.
I don’t feel angry, nor do I feel bitter, but I do feel more adamant about protecting my space — mental, physical, spiritual, and emotional space — as I get older. I feel like it is ok to get people out the paint if they are not adding to your overall wellness. I also believe there is strength in the recognition of such, and then acting on it.
God has blessed me with this transitional period, that I believe is meant for me to regain some focus. I felt consumed with loving outside of myself, and now I want to get back to what I need to heal within. Gratitude is all I feel. Emotional rollercoaster? Yes. But thankful to be here? Yes.
This may be a little confusing if you’ve happened to stumble upon this post without knowing me personally, but I am content in knowing what it means for me. For every person I have ever loved, I still do. My love is unconditional, and is neither earned, or lost. It’s how my heart is set up. But I am now finding the strength to separate myself from situations no longer conducive to my happiness. Every lesson is appreciated, and I am at peace.
I lost myself for a minute, I think? Jorja Smith sang right from my heart in the song “Where Did I Go?”. Every word. I’m thankful the haze is clearing, and I am finding stability.
Love is love.